Exchanges may seem like a minor piece of an overall custody agreement, but many unpleasant or downright harmful experiences for your children can occur at custody exchanges.
Although you might not want to see your co-parent in person, the unfortunate reality is that you cannot usually avoid this at custody exchanges. However awkward or tense custody exchanges may be, here are some tips to help make them smoother for you and easier on your children.
Choose the right location
Performing custody exchanges between houses is often convenient but increases the chance of conflict, particularly if there are stepparents or other household members around.
Consider holding the exchanges at a public place halfway between your homes. If you are concerned about safety, choose a bright, well-lit place with people around. A local police station might be a good option.
On weekdays, exchanges at school might be best. If one of you drops the children off at school and the other picks them up, or vice versa, the exchange can be done without any face-to-face interaction at all.
Be prepared
Prepare ahead of time to keep the exchange as quick and efficient as possible. Pack everything your children will need for their time with your co-parent. This includes major items such as clothing and minor items such as their favorite blanket or toy.
Having everything ready and organized keeps your custody exchanges quicker and prevents unnecessary communication if your co-parent cannot find an item.
Consider bringing a third party
Having a trusted friend or family member at exchanges can reduce conflict. People are more likely to be on their best behavior when others are around.
The third party should be someone you both agree on and who you both have no personal issues with. For example, a new spouse or partner is rarely a good third-party option.
Additionally, a third party can be a witness to any disputes if there are differing versions over what happened.
Remember that custody arrangements are made with the best interest of your children in mind. Along with following these tips, keeping your focus on your children’s best interest throughout the exchange will help make the experience better for everyone.