Going back and forth between two households can be challenging for children after a divorce. Studies show that these children may experience increased stress, anxiety and adjustment difficulties.
What’s even more concerning is that children often don’t express their emotions or acknowledge their struggles with this big family change. As a result, it can be hard to know if your child is adjusting well. Regardless, children need support during this transition. Here are four things you can do to make it easier for them.
Maintain consistent routines
Establish and maintain consistent routines in your home, even if they’re different from your ex-spouse’s house. This helps provide a sense of stability and predictability for your child.
For example, keep bedtimes, meal times and homework times the same each day. When things are predictable, kids feel more secure.
Encourage open communication
Make sure your child knows it’s okay to talk about their feelings about the changes in their family situation. Listen to them without judging and validate their emotions. You could say, “It’s normal to feel sad or confused about living in two homes. I’m here if you want to talk.” Regular check-ins with your child help show them you care and understand.
Collaborate with your co-parent
While it may be challenging, try to get along with your ex-spouse for your child’s sake. It helps if both homes have the same rules and expectations. This can really reduce stress for your child. If possible, try to agree on big decisions about school, health and discipline. When parents work together, it makes things easier for the child.
Seek professional support if needed
If your child is struggling to adjust, consider seeking help from a family therapist or counselor experienced in divorce and custody issues. A professional can help both you and your child with coping with changes and maintaining healthy relationships.
Remember, moving from one home with both parents to two separate homes is a big change for kids. Staying involved in your child’s life and getting help when needed can make a real difference in how they cope. Your support is key to your child’s well-being during this transition.